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  ‘Yes, I know,’ he said impatiently, ‘but those sorts of accidents come out of the blue. It was nobody’s fault. And I’ll soon throw this off. I’m rarely ill.’

  ‘That may be so,’ she persisted, ‘but don’t play it down. I’ve heard of people who’ve died from a reaction to penicillin. I had a friend who started with some kind of bug and she remembered that she had some tablets in the bathroom cupboard. They’d been there for a long time and when she took one it nearly killed her. She ended up in Intensive Care and—’

  He groaned. ‘All right. I admit that I feel ghastly.’

  ‘Yes, I can tell. That’s why I’m off to get this prescription made up. You can’t go through the night without something to counteract the allergy. I’ll be back the moment I’ve sorted it. There’s an all-night chemist near the city centre.’

  Selina’s voice rose. ‘The doctor who came this afternoon should have made sure you could get it made up when he saw that you were on your own. In fact, he should have had you admitted to hospital.’

  ‘I didn’t tell him I lived alone and when he mentioned hospital I said I’d rather see how it went once I was on the new tablets.’

  ‘I see. In other words, you’ve got a death wish?’

  Kane managed a grimace of a smile.

  ‘Not now I haven’t. I’m looking forward to having your cool hand on my fevered brow.’

  ‘You’re going to have to wait, I’m afraid,’ she told him. ‘Getting your prescription made up is going to do more for your fevered brow than my cool hand.’ And as he sank back against the pillows the alarm that had been there from the moment of seeing him on the bunk became an urgent need to make him well again.

  Don’t let anything happen to Kane, she prayed as she drove out of the village. He was making light of it, but they both knew that this kind of allergic reaction could be very serious.

  * * *

  The chemist had been open. The new tablets were on the seat beside her, and as Selina made the return journey along roads that were quiet after the evening rush hour she was deciding what she was going to do.

  First the patient must be given the treatment, then she was going to pick Josh up from Gavin’s house where she’d left him for what she’d thought would be a few moments. And once she’d packed some nightwear they were both going back to the boat.

  When she got back Kane was in the same feverish doze she’d found him in earlier, and his skin was so red and flaky it looked as if he’d been in the hot sun.

  As she touched him gently on the shoulder he muttered, ‘What is it, Eve? Leave me alone.’

  Selina stared down at him. She was still in his mind, the woman who’d caused him so much aggravation.

  ‘Sit up for a moment, Kane,’ she coaxed gently.

  As he eased himself up on the pillows, he said blearily, ‘You’re back.’

  She managed a smile.

  ‘Yes, and my name isn’t Eve.’

  ‘I’m not with you.’

  ‘No. You’re not,’ she agreed, ‘but maybe if you take the medication you’ll find yourself coming back from wherever you’ve been. And, Kane, I’m going to have to leave you again for a few minutes while I go to get Josh.’

  ‘Don’t worry about me any more, Selina,’ he protested. ‘I’ll be all right now I’ve got the new tablets. I think my immune system is beginning to kick in too. I don’t feel quite so much as if I’m going to choke.’

  ‘The choking and breathing problems will be because the allergy has made the membranes of your mouth and throat swell, and I’ll be the judge of whether you’re well enough to be left,’ she said firmly.

  * * *

  Josh needed no persuasion. The thought of spending the night on the boat had him jumping up and down with glee.

  ‘Where will I sleep?’ he asked as they approached the marina. ‘In one of the bunks?’

  ‘Yes. Kane is in one and you can have the other.’

  ‘But where are you going to sleep, Mum?’ he asked.

  ‘I’ll want to keep awake,’ she told him. ‘Kane is quite poorly and I want to be there if he needs me.’

  That described her feelings for Kane exactly, she thought as she tucked Josh up in the other bunk. She wanted to be there for him, not just now but always…in sickness and in health. But so far it seemed to be a one-sided state of affairs.

  She woke him up for another tablet at one o’clock in the morning and when he saw the time Kane said, ‘Selina! Have you seen the time? You shouldn’t be here at this hour.’

  ‘You mean, what will the neighbours say?’ she teased.

  ‘No. I mean, who’s looking after Josh?’

  ‘Cast your eyes sideways.’

  He did and they nearly popped out.

  ‘He’s spending his first night aboard and totally happy to do so.’

  Kane groaned. ‘Ugh! What a nuisance I’m being.’

  ‘No, you’re not. How long is it since you had some TLC?’

  ‘Too far back to remember.’

  ‘So don’t knock it when it’s offered.’

  ‘Yes, but—’

  Selina shook her head chidingly. ‘Shush. I’m not leaving you until you look less like a lobster.’

  He groaned again. ‘Do I look that bad?’

  ‘’Fraid so. Eve would definitely not fancy you at this moment.’

  ‘And what about you?’

  ‘Oh, I fancy you all the time, but it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.’

  He smiled wearily.

  ‘I notice that you only tell me that when I’m not able to act upon it.’

  ‘There’s no rush,’ she said quietly as he closed his eyes again. ‘Just get better, Kane.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  WHEN she awoke huddled on one of the seats in the cabin in an autumn dawn, Selina realised that she must have slept after all.

  As consciousness came flooding back her first thought was for Kane. His bunk was empty, and as she got to her feet she could see the outline of him under the shower in the boat’s small bathroom.

  It was half past six. In two hours she would have to be on her way to the training school, but only if he was well enough for her to leave him.

  She went into the galley and put the kettle on and then went slowly up on deck. When Kane came out of the shower she would know soon enough how he was, and in the meantime, as an early sun came slanting across the marina, she was experiencing the pleasure of life on the water.

  Everywhere was still. A kingfisher on the far bank observed her in feathered brilliance, and a water rat stood poised for flight at the slightest sound.

  ‘There you are,’ Kane said suddenly from behind her, and when she turned he was there, with a towel draped across his shoulders and the bottom half of him covered by boxer shorts.

  ‘Do I still look like a lobster?’ he asked as her glance took in the casual lean grace of him.

  Selina smiled to disguise the ache that his semi-nakedness had caused. He looked clean and wholesome, while she was a creased and crumpled mess.

  ‘Not as much,’ she said lightly. ‘You’ve gone from red to pink. Am I to take it that you’re feeling better?’

  ‘Yes, you are. I’m relieved to say. The new medication seems to be doing the trick. I don’t ever want a repeat performance of that little episode. But, of course, I shall know in future that penicillin is not for me.’

  ‘So we’ve got something in common,’ she said, with a feeling of anticlimax now the anxiety was past.

  ‘Who? You and I?’

  ‘No. Penicillin and myself.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘Neither of us suit you.’

  He took a step towards her and the towel fell from his shoulders.

  ‘Don’t spoil it, Selina,’ he said soberly as his nearness made her tremble. ‘You ‘‘suit’’ me very well. I’ve never been better ‘‘suited’’ in my life. But our backgrounds and circumstances are so different. You are a cherished innocent and I’m streetwise a
nd cynical. Not the best mix for everlasting bliss.’

  ‘You’re making excuses,’ she said flatly. ‘I have my own opinion of what you’re like and I don’t want your version rammed down my throat. I’m going to get Josh up, and once he’s dressed we’ll be off.’

  ‘Surely not before I’ve thanked you properly for taking care of me.’

  ‘I would have done it for anyone,’ she told him in the same flat tone.

  Josh was loud in his protests when he discovered that they were leaving almost as soon as he was awake.

  ‘We have to go home,’ she told him patiently. ‘I’m due at the training centre at nine o’clock and I have to take you round to Uncle Gavin’s house first.’

  ‘Can’t I stay here with Kane?’ he pleaded.

  ‘I don’t mind,’ Kane said, turning from the window where he’d been gazing morosely over the water. ‘I’m going to ring in sick today.’

  Selina hesitated as her concern for him outweighed her annoyance.

  ‘No, Kane. You’re only partly recovered. You can’t throw off that sort of thing in a day. Josh is coming with me.’

  ‘All right, if that’s how you feel,’ he conceded. Turning to the boy who was eyeing his mother mutinously, he said, ‘There’ll be another time, Josh. I promise.’

  Not for us, Selina thought bleakly a little later as she gave Josh his breakfast back at the house. There won’t be another time for us if you keep on like this, my dear one.

  * * *

  When Selina arrived home that evening there was a huge bouquet of flowers in the porch. She picked it up slowly and read the card attached.

  It said, ‘You wouldn’t let me thank you this morning so I’m hoping this will do it for me. I’m sure you’ll find them more pleasing than their sender.’

  Her eyes filled with tears. What was the matter with the man? He was all she would ever want, but for some reason he was determined to continue the pattern of past deprivation that he’d once casually mentioned. His determination was such that getting him to change his mind was like coming up against a brick wall.

  Yet she needed to know how he was—if the improvement was continuing—and a call to his mobile seemed the most painless way of finding out.

  ‘Yes, I’m still improving,’ Kane said when he answered. ‘How has your day been?’

  ‘It didn’t have a very good start,’ she told him pointedly, ‘but it got better as it went on. Thank you for the flowers. They are lovely. But, Kane…’

  ‘What?’ he said guardedly.

  ‘If you sent me a thousand bouquets it wouldn’t make up for what you’re doing to us.’

  There was silence, ominous and complete, and then at last his voice came over the line again and it brought a chill with it.

  ‘Look, Selina, it’s hard enough to keep away from you. Don’t keep making an issue of it. Good luck with the course. I’ll see you when it’s over.’

  As the line went dead she stood looking down at the receiver in her hand. If that wasn’t telling her to keep her distance, she didn’t know what was. He’d said he would see her after the course. In other words, when she reported back for duty at the ambulance station. So the fact that they lived only minutes apart didn’t come into it.

  He hadn’t said it in so many words but the meaning was clear. Stay away from me, he was telling her.

  Well, she thought angrily, she would do just that. It wouldn’t please Josh, but did she want to store up misery for her son? Better he should forget about Kane. Better they should both forget about him.

  * * *

  Kane was back on the job the next morning. For one thing he was feeling much better, and for another the last thing he wanted to do was mope around the boat, thinking about Selina.

  His breathing was back to normal. The swollen membranes in his mouth and throat had gone down and his skin had lost its extreme redness. Those were the physical improvements.

  Mentally he was still suffering and it wasn’t anything to do with the adverse effects of penicillin. But having decided on the road he was going to travel, he might as well get on with it, he told himself, and as the ambulance station came into view he was preparing himself for another busy day.

  It wasn’t the same without her, of course. Selina was in a class of her own. Quietly efficient, kind, caring and strong in her own way. But, then, she would have to be to contemplate sharing her life with the likes of him.

  Maybe he ought to ask to be put on one of the fast-response vehicles. That way he would be on his own and that was how he performed best…wasn’t it?

  * * *

  As the weeks went by it was still stalemate between them, with Selina now training in the various sections of the hospital, Kane coping with urban emergencies and Josh occasionally getting upset at not being allowed near the boat.

  To make up for it Selina took him to all the other things he liked doing—cinema, zoo, a nearby theme park—and on the surface he seemed content.

  All of which was becoming a regular pattern until the day that Josh and the twins disappeared.

  When Selina went to pick him up at her sister-in-law’s after a gruelling day in Coronary Care, she found Jill totally distraught.

  ‘I can’t find the children anywhere!’ she cried. ‘They were playing in the garden half an hour ago and when I went out to check on them they weren’t there. I’ve looked everywhere. Back at your place. The park. The post office in case they’d sneaked off to buy some sweets. But there isn’t a sign of them!’

  Selina was staring at her in dismayed disbelief.

  ‘They can’t be far away, Jill,’ she said evenly, knowing that one of them panicking was enough.

  A clear head and calm mind were required in situations such as this, but it wasn’t stopping fear clutching at her as all the awful possibilities came crowding in.

  ‘Gavin’s at the hospital. There’s only been me here,’ Jill sobbed, ‘and I’ve been running round like someone demented. Suppose…suppose…’

  ‘Shush!’ Selina told her. ‘Let’s not suppose anything at the moment. You’re overwrought. We’ll both start searching in opposite directions. Three small children can’t move that fast.’

  Jill wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

  ‘I don’t know about that. Children can move like greased lightning when they want to go somewhere, and you know what the girls are like. They would jump in the canal if Josh told them to.’

  ‘The canal!’ they both breathed simultaneously.

  ‘Supposing he’s taken them to see Kane?’ Selina said. ‘Let’s go!’

  As they ran along the towpath she was wondering whether he would be there. He might be if he was on nights as he didn’t start until seven. Or they might find him there if it was one of his days off. But if he was on a day shift he would be absent as he didn’t finish until seven. In any case, if the children had turned up at the boat he would have brought them straight back.

  When they came to a breathless halt beside The Joshua it was clear that they’d come on a fruitless errand. It was all locked up and there was no sign of the man himself.

  Jill was weeping again.

  ‘This is all my fault,’ she wailed. ‘I should have kept a better watch on them.’

  ‘No, don’t blame yourself,’ Selina told her as her own hopes were dashed. She put her arm around her sister-in-law’s shaking shoulders. ‘There’s no one more careful than you. Let’s go back and see if they’ve turned up.’

  * * *

  Two hours later they were again searching the places they’d already looked. There had been no signs of the children when they’d got back and Jill had phoned to ask Gavin to come home.

  He had taken charge of the search and now, with no success to report, he was about to phone the police.

  ‘We can’t take any chances,’ he told his distraught wife and sister, ‘in case they’ve been abducted. The police need to know so that they can watch all the roads for suspicious vehicles. The first few hours after
an abduction are vital.’

  His face was bleached of all colour, but he’d had to say it. Just in case…

  Selina wanted to scream at him. Don’t say that word! I can’t bear to think of it. Yet she knew he was right.

  ‘The police are coming right over,’ he said as he put the phone down after the call. ‘Selina, I suggest that you stay here to talk to them when they arrive and Jill and I will continue searching.’ Before she could argue they’d gone.

  * * *

  It had been one of those days. An entrapment. A multiple pile-up on the motorway. A schoolboy with burns after trying to make a firework bomb. By the time it was over Kane was ready for a couple of hours’ relaxation in a bar near the ambulance station.

  There was nothing to rush home for. The boat would manage without its owner for a little while longer. It was still a great source of pleasure, but he always took a nightly stroll past Lock-Keeper’s Cottage. Even though his dreams had taken a wrong turning…

  It was almost ten o’clock when he got back to the village. All the lights were on when he went past Selina’s house and his face tightened when he saw the garage fellow come hurrying out.

  It looked as if she and the mechanic had been having a cosy night in, he thought, and had to swerve as a police car came speeding past.

  There was another one parked beside the village green and he thought that there seemed to be a lot of activity in the area. But as it didn’t concern him he was going to turn in as soon as he was back on the boat and sleep off the stress of a long and tiring day.

  When he went to get the keys, which he kept hidden in a small cavity beneath the door of the cabin, they weren’t there. He eyed the empty space in perplexity. Were there thieves about? Was that the reason for all the police activity?

  Yet there were no signs of a break-in. All appeared to be in order. The door that led to the accommodation below was securely locked and the windows closed, though he supposed that someone could have been prowling around, found the keys and taken them with the intention of coming back later.

  He sighed. This was all he needed. He was going to have to break in, either smash a window or force the door. He peered downwards through the glass panel in the door and his jaw went slack.