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  When there was no reply forthcoming she said, ‘I’m going to get something to eat at the shop over there. Can I get you anything?’

  He shook his head and so, swinging long legs out of the driving seat, she straightened up and made her way to a nearby sandwich shop.

  She wasn’t really hungry. She hadn’t felt like eating since the distressing events of the other night, but it was a relief to be away from Kane for a few moments.

  If they went on like this she wouldn’t be able to bear it. Being cooped up together with all the lovely rapport gone. She might even end up doing what he’d suggested. Asking to be put with someone else.

  Why was he so prickly, she wondered, if there was nothing in what he’d told her? Lots of men might feel it was macho to be described in such a manner. But not Kane Kavener, it would seem.

  The fact remains that in your case a little knowledge turned out to be a dangerous thing, she told herself. And if you’re going to continue yearning for him under those circumstances, you’re a fool, Selina Sanderson.

  CHAPTER SIX

  YOU’RE behaving like an idiot, Kane told himself as Selina climbed back on board with a packet of drab-looking sandwiches. His enchanting partner was trying to understand and he was being deliberately difficult.

  But he had his pride, for heaven’s sake! The injustice that Eve Richards had done him was still blighting his life and he was damned if he was going to start protesting his innocence to a fresh lot of people.

  He didn’t now what Charlie Vaughan had heard, but as in all big organisations there was a grapevine that had far-spreading branches. Whatever it was, it had brought about a confrontation between Selina and himself that had left her dumbstruck and dismayed.

  Selina, who had other men in her life. Men who’d known her much longer than he had, and wouldn’t allow anyone to harm her.

  There was the hovering cousin, her brother and, to the forefront in recent days, Charlie Vaughan. They were her protectors and it would be easier to break into Fort Knox than get past the ‘keep your hands off Selina’ vigilantes if he put a foot wrong.

  The last thing he would ever want would be to cause her distress and, with angry frustration still churning inside him, it seemed as if the best way to avoid hurting her was to stand back. Keep a hold on his emotions and let the job be their only contact.

  He wasn’t the only one coming to conclusions. As she munched on the unappetising food Selina was making a painful decision of her own and he was about to be told what it was.

  ‘Until you feel that you can talk to me I don’t see any future for us, Kane. You’re not even giving me the chance to understand what this is all about,’ she said wearily. ‘I suppose I should ask to be moved, but as I’ve done nothing wrong I don’t see why I should. So in the meantime I suggest we get on with what we’re paid for while you keep your secrets and I keep my peace of mind.’

  ‘My feelings exactly,’ he said abruptly. ‘What you don’t know about, you won’t fret about.’

  That will be the day, she thought miserably. She was in love with him for better or worse. But he was stubborn, secretive and totally insensitive to treat her like this.

  ‘Love hurts,’ she’d told him that day on Blackpool beach when Josh had been missing, and it seemed as if nothing had changed.

  A green call was coming through to attend a pedestrian with a suspected fracture from a fall, and once again they had to put their own affairs on hold.

  * * *

  ‘Why doesn’t Kane come to see us any more?’ Josh asked on the night before they were off to visit her father-in-law in Devon.

  ‘Maybe he’s busy,’ she said evasively.

  Josh frowned.

  ‘Too busy to come and see us?’

  ‘I think he might be house-hunting. He lives in a flat and doesn’t like it very much.’

  ‘He could come and live with us. He told me that he likes it round here.’

  ‘Did he? When was that?’

  ‘The day we went to the seaside.’

  ‘Hmm. I see.’

  It was ironic, she thought later as she sat alone in front of the television. Lots of women in her position had problems with their children when they tried to introduce the new man in their lives. Yet in her case it hadn’t been like that. Josh had taken to Kane right from the start. But sadly there had been other problems to blight their relationship.

  She didn’t really want to go away but she couldn’t deny her father-in-law the chance to spend some time with his grandson, and in a way it would be a relief to get away from the ambulance station for a while.

  Kane would be working with Denise while she was gone. The other woman hadn’t hesitated when Mark had suggested it and Selina had thought miserably that he might cheer up with the uncomplicated redhead as his partner. Although, in the light of recent events, she’d have thought he’d have asked for one of the men to assist him.

  Since their separate ultimatums they had adopted a polite sort of truce and if she went home each night feeling lost and miserable, at least she knew where she stood.

  * * *

  Josh woke up in the early hours with a high temperature, and when Selina examined him she saw that there were small watery blisters behind his ears and on his body.

  ‘Oh, dear,’ she said. ‘It looks as if Grandad is in for a disappointment. I think you’ve got chickenpox.’

  ‘You mean we can’t go to Devon?’

  ‘I’m afraid not. Chickenpox isn’t a very serious illness in children, but if an older person picks up the virus it becomes shingles and that can be very unpleasant. We’ll have to ring him first thing in the morning to tell him what’s happened.’

  She placed her hand on his hot little brow.

  ‘And what about you? Are you very disappointed?’

  ‘Yes. But we can go another time, can’t we?’

  ‘Of course. But we might have to wait until I have some more holidays due.’

  She went downstairs to get him a drink and some paracetamol and within minutes he was asleep again. As she stood looking down on him, Selina reminded herself to check the medicine cabinet for calamine lotion in preparation for when the blisters became dry and scratchy.

  When she went back to her own bed she lay, wide-eyed, thinking about the latest turn of events. Robert would be very upset that they weren’t going, but he would be a lot more distraught if he caught shingles.

  As for herself, she was sorry to let him down but relieved at the same time. He was a shrewd old guy and if he picked up on the fact that she had something on her mind, he wouldn’t rest until he knew what it was—and what would he think when he found out that there was another man in her life?

  But also, and far more important, she wasn’t going to be miles away from Kane, even though her affairs seemed to be of no interest to him any more.

  Her father-in-law’s reaction to the news next morning was as she’d expected—disappointed, followed by a reluctant consideration for his own health that helped him to accept that the visit was off.

  As he put the phone down Selina breathed a sigh of relief. It was a disappointment for Josh and his granddad, but the up side of it was that she was already on leave so she would be there during the next two weeks while the chickenpox took its course.

  They would have to stay away from Gavin and his family in the hope that it wouldn’t be passed on to Katie and Kirsty. But she knew there was a strong possibility that it already had been, as chicken pox is most contagious before the blisters appear.

  * * *

  In the middle of that first week they went for an early morning walk along the canalside so that Josh could see the boats moored at the marina.

  It was a warm, clear day and as he skipped along in front of her Selina was thankful that the chickenpox hadn’t made him feel ill. He was still spotty but they were drying off and liberal applications of the calamine were helping to stop him from scratching.

  As she walked along behind him, her mind was e
lsewhere. What would Kane be doing at this moment? she wondered. Speeding across the city to answer a call? Or tucked up inside the close confines of the ambulance with the sexy Denise? She wished she knew. But what did it matter any more? She’d had a brief glimpse of happiness and then what? Nothing.

  It was quiet when they reached the marina. Those who lived on the water weren’t yet up and about and the visitors hadn’t so far put in an appearance.

  There was a new boat there that hadn’t been at the moorings the last time they’d gone past, and they stopped to admire its gleaming paintwork and shiny brass fittings.

  ‘Can we go inside and have a look?’ Josh asked, wide-eyed at its splendour.

  She smiled.

  ‘No, not really. The owners might be asleep down below and in any case it would be trespassing.’

  ‘Aw, Mum,’ he wheedled. ‘They wouldn’t know if we were very quiet.’

  ‘No, Josh,’ she was repeating firmly when the figure of a man came into view, striding briskly along the towpath. He was carrying a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread and he nearly dropped them when he saw the two of them standing by the boat.

  If he was surprised, Selina was dumbstruck. Only Josh saw nothing unusual in the occasion.

  ‘Kane!’ he cried as he ran towards him. ‘Is it your boat?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. Putting down the groceries, he held out his arms and swung Josh high in the air.

  Selina hadn’t moved. What was going on? Kane living only a few minutes’ walk from them! That was all she needed. It was bad enough coping with his nearness on the job, but this was unbelievable.

  ‘Hello, Selina,’ he said when they drew level, ‘I thought that you were going to Devon.’

  ‘Obviously,’ she said coolly. ‘We had to cancel the holiday because Josh has got chickenpox. How long have you been living here?’

  ‘Hmm, good thing I’ve been vaccinated!’ He shot her a smile, which quickly faded as he saw that the coolness had reached her eyes. ‘I moved in over the weekend.’

  ‘I see. Choosing a time when I wouldn’t be around? And as usual keeping your affairs strictly to yourself.’

  ‘If that’s how you want to see it, yes.’

  ‘Can we go on the boat?’ Josh asked.

  Kane hesitated and at that moment a voice Selina recognised called from down below in the cabin, ‘Kane, who’s that you’re talking to? I need paracetamol. I’ve got a splitting headache.’

  He leaned over the rail and called down uncomfortably, ‘Hold on. I’ll be with you in a moment.’ He turned to Josh, who was waiting for an answer. ‘Maybe later on, Josh. This afternoon perhaps…if that’s all right with your mother.’

  ‘Yes,’ she told him stiffly. ‘Just as long as you don’t expect me to come with him.’

  His face was expressionless.

  ‘So you’re going to trust me with him, even though I’m seen as an unsavoury character?’

  ‘I’ve never said that, Kane,’ she said in the same tight tone. Taking Josh’s hand firmly in hers, she moved off.

  He had some nerve, that one, she thought furiously as they walked back home. Moving into the village when he thought her back was turned…and with this girlfriend.

  Where had it all gone? she thought dismally. The magic of getting to know each other? The tenderness that had helped start the healing process after long months of grief and loneliness?

  ‘Selina! Here a minute.’

  It was Peter, calling across from the garage.

  ‘Yes. What is it?’ she asked warily.

  ‘I thought you guys were going to Grandad Sanderson’s?’

  ‘We were, but Josh has got chickenpox and we didn’t want to start a shingles epidemic in Devon.’

  ‘I see. I see something else as well. That your boyfriend has got a barge on the marina.’

  ‘It didn’t take you long to find that out.’

  ‘I hear all the village gossip in this place.’

  ‘So it would seem.’

  ‘The romance is still on, then?’

  ‘Yes. It’s going great guns,’ she fibbed sweetly, ‘and now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an appointment with a bottle of calamine lotion.’

  * * *

  If she’d been fed up before, the conversation with Peter had increased it tenfold. Why couldn’t they all leave her to get on with her own life? Selina though as she brought the washing in and began to iron it.

  The boat Kane had bought was beautiful and she supposed that he was entitled to do as he chose, but how was she going to sleep on warm autumn nights, knowing that he was so near yet so far away?

  Typical of him, he’d bought somewhere to live that had no permanency with it. He could sail to another mooring whenever he chose. So maybe his appearance at the marina hadn’t anything to do with her.

  And as for the thing he wouldn’t talk about, it hadn’t sounded as if Denise was complaining of any sexual harassment.

  Kane came for Josh at two o’clock in the afternoon and when Selina stood back to let him in he shook his head.

  ‘I’d rather not if you don’t mind. I have unpleasant memories of the last time I was here.’

  Selina glared at him.

  ‘Mine aren’t too rosy either.’

  He shrugged his shoulders and that did it. She wanted to shake him and lunged at him angrily, but before she could touch him he had gripped her wrists.

  ‘They say there’s only a fine line between hate and love,’ he told her quietly, ‘and it looks as if you’ve crossed it, Selina. Maybe I ought to bring you back.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she breathed as his grasp tightened.

  ‘This,’ he said softly. ‘And if any of your protectors are watching they can make of it what they will.’

  He released his grip on her wrists and, taking her face between his hands, kissed her with a passionate thoroughness that made her weak with longing.

  When he’d finished she sank back against the doorpost. As if on cue, Josh came running round the side of the house and cried, ‘Hi, Kane. I’m ready.’

  ‘Good,’ he said calmly. ‘We’ll be off, then. Can he stay for dinner?’

  Selina was rallying. ‘Only if you haven’t got company,’ she said with cool sarcasm.

  ‘I haven’t. I could give you an explanation for what happened earlier, but I’m sure you won’t want to hear it.’

  ‘I don’t,’ she said abruptly, and with a quick kiss for Josh she finished, ‘I’ll see you both later.’

  Then with what remained of her dignity she went in and closed the door. That done Selina put a hand to her lips. They were still warm from Kane’s mouth. What sort of game was he playing?

  Kane would have realised how she’d sprung to life at his touch, yet she felt instinctively that he wasn’t going to do anything further about it.

  * * *

  It was late evening when he brought Josh back and her son was sweatily ecstatic.

  ‘We’ve been painting a name on the boat, Mum!’ he cried as he came running up the path with Kane close behind.

  ‘Really?’ she exclaimed with a weak attempt at enthusiasm. ‘That must have been great fun. What have you called it? The Clam? After its owner?’

  Kane got the message and Selina saw his eyes glint, but Josh was too excited to decipher veiled comments.

  ‘No. Nothing like that. We’ve called it The Joshua.’

  ‘You have? My goodness!’

  Her eyes were tender as she gazed down at him, but when she lifted her head there was disbelief in the look she directed at Kane.

  ‘How could you do that?’ she asked when Josh had gone to take off his soiled clothes. ‘You’ve made it clear that what we had is over, due to your stupid pride, and now you’ve called the boat after Josh. He’ll want to be round there all the time after this.’

  ‘I’m not going to be there all that much, am I, with the kind of hours we work?’ he said levelly. ‘And when I am there he will be most welcome.’

 
‘Why didn’t you moor your boat somewhere else instead of on my doorstep?’

  ‘I’m not sure what the answer to that is,’ he said with the irritating calm that he displayed every time she was on edge. ‘But I’m sure that one of your many protectors will be watching over you while the sex maniac is around.

  ‘And now I’m off, Selina. Even if you’re on holiday, I’m not. I’m on nights for the next two shifts and then days. So you see, I won’t be around all that much to annoy you.’ And off he went.

  As she watched him stride off in the direction of the marina she wanted to run after him and tell him that he didn’t annoy her. That she was puzzled, hurt and head over heels in love with him. But the first move had to come from him. If he couldn’t confide in her, knowing how much she cared, then there was nothing else to be said.

  * * *

  Walking back along the towpath, Kane was admitting to himself that Selina was right. He had gone behind her back with his purchase of the boat. And he should have moored it somewhere else.

  But the only reason he’d bought it had been to be near her, in spite of his protestations to the contrary. He still desperately wanted Lock-Keeper’s Cottage, but he’d shelved that idea. If he wasn’t going to be living in it with Selina and Josh, there was no point in making an offer for it.

  Why couldn’t he sink his pride? Go back and pour out his hurts and miseries to her as he’d been about to do on the night that they’d quarrelled? But she had enough of her own without having to listen to his, and he still didn’t know what she really thought about the things he’d told her.

  Then there was the catastrophe of Denise being on the boat when Selina and Josh had stopped by. That was something else he hadn’t handled very well. He should have insisted on explaining. Should have told her that Denise had badgered him to take her to see his new home and eventually, because he’d had nothing better to do, he’d agreed, not expecting that she would bring enough wine with her to sink the Titanic, let alone The Joshua.

  She’d been so drunk when it had been time for her to leave that he’d had no choice but to let her sleep in the cabin for the night while he’d bedded down on the hard boards of the deck.